


and counting

by jisungs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Pining, non au i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 21:12:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13555680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisungs/pseuds/jisungs
Summary: It’s been nine months since that night, since Jeno had confessed to him and had established their... whatever this was—and not a single time did he hear Renjun say “I love you, too” back.Jeno isn’t mad, really. Maybe Renjun wasn’t prepared to say it back, maybe Renjun isn’t even prepared for a relationship at all, but Jeno was determined.





	and counting

Jeno vividly remembers that night.

Renjun had invited him up to look at the stars on the rooftop of their dorm after their late night practice. Jeno usually declined because of how their beds would eagerly call their names, but at that time, Renjun’s eyes were sparkling a little bit brighter than usual, so Jeno decided to accept the offer.

He’s glad that he did.

“Wow, Jeno, look! That one forms a huge star.” Renjun laughed, “It’s a bunch of stars forming a star.” Jeno smiled, not at the stars in the sky but at the blinding smile right in front of him. He catches himself staring—again.

Renjun goes on about how the stars fascinate him as he rests his hand on his chin. He closes his eyes, taking in all of the cool wind. Jeno stares at Renjun. He examines the boy’s features. His soft cheeks, long eyelashes, the curve of his lips—all too stunning for Jeno, and Jeno catches himself falling all over again.

Jeno realizes that _this_ is the perfect moment. And so with all his might and a puff from his chest, he says it out loud, just as loud as his heartbeat and just as how he’s practiced it a billion times in their shared room all to himself.

“Renjun, I like you.”

Jeno remembers how wide Renjun’s eyes were and the few seconds of silence that shut them both up. He remembers how his mouth that was once slightly agape slowly turned upward to form the smile that Jeno always loved seeing. He remembers how soft Renjun’s lips were against his cheek and how tight his hug was, but he doesn’t ever remember Renjun saying those words back.

Jeno sighs.

Their practice ended late as usual and so the members start shuffling in the van one by one. Jeno catches himself smiling at the thought that Renjun could finally rest since he’s been complaining about his back.

“What’s got you all smiley, huh?” Renjun asks as he slides the van’s door and sits beside Jeno, quickly setting aside his backpack.

“Nothing.” Jeno grins while he rests his chin on Renjun’s shoulder, looking up at him, “I just love you, s’all.”

Renjun hums in reply as he puts on his earphones and starts scrolling on his phone. Jeno pouts. He sighs at the thought that it’s been nine months since that night, since Jeno had confessed to him and had established their... whatever this was—and not a single time did he hear Renjun say “I love you, too” back. Jeno isn’t mad, really. Maybe Renjun wasn’t prepared to say it back, maybe Renjun isn’t even prepared for a relationship at all, but Jeno was determined. If it’s a game Renjun wants, then it’s a game Renjun gets.

  
(He always gets Renjun what he wants anyway.)

  
I.

Jeno is usually not the first to wake up, but he decided that today was going to be little special for Renjun but nothing too fancy. He forced himself to wake up at seven, had to re-watch a YouTube tutorial four times on how to cook and plate (or at least make it look presentable), and searched how to make a breakfast memorable just in time before Renjun wakes up.

“Renjun-ah, wake up.”

Renjun turns as he slowly opens his eyes to see a grinning Jeno with a plate of eggs and bacon in his hands. Renjun is too overwhelmed at the sight and is too tired (and too nice) to nag at Jeno and tell him that this is only going to make a mess. He slowly uncovers his blanket and yawns, checking to see what time it was.

“I figured I’d let you eat on the bed since we don’t have a schedule today.” Jeno smiles.

Renjun thanks him quietly as he rubs his eyes, trying to sit and balance the plate on his lap. “We could’ve just eaten in the dining room together, Jeno.” Renjun half-smiles.

“Well, you’ve been really tired these days and I figured it’d take you at least thirty minutes before getting up so...” Jeno smiles, “I love you?” Renjun chuckles in reply as he quietly proceeds to eat his breakfast. Only the clacking of utensils against the plate could be heard.

“You can have some bacon if you want.”

Jeno groans and lets his body fall on his bed face flat.

  
II.

  
Jeno has been ill for the past two days and wasn’t able to come to practice because of his fever. Renjun, being the concerned roommate he is, decided to stay behind and take care of Jeno.

“You should really look out for your health, you know.” Renjun nags as he brings out a cloth and basin. He sets it on the bedside table with an annoyed sigh. “We have a schedule in a few days.” Renjun dips the cloth in the basin. “I told you to _always_ change your shirt after practice.” Renjun squeezes the wet cloth. “And by that, I mean a clean shirt, Jeno.” Renjun wipes the cloth on Jeno’s face. Although it was painfully obvious that Renjun looked annoyed, it was only his way of showing his love for Jeno.

Jeno groans from the unusual cold, suddenly pressing on his face. “I’m sorry mom, won’t happen again.” Jeno chuckles in reply, only to be lightly hit with Renjun’s fist on the shoulder. “Hey!” Jeno pouts.

“That’s for scaring me earlier. You looked so pale I thought you were going to faint.” Renjun mutters as he continues to gently wipe the wet cloth on his face. Jeno takes this as an opportunity to take Renjun’s hand and softly pecked it, looking into Renjun’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I love you.” Jeno says quietly. Renjun blushes and sits still for a few seconds, before he mutters and continues to wipe his face, “Stop flirting with me and heal faster.”

“I will if you kiss me.” Jeno cheekily replies, and so Renjun does, but on Jeno’s warm forehead. Jeno is the first one to close his eyes and drift off to sleep and Renjun follows. They eventually fall asleep on the same bed, sharing warmth under Jeno’s small but cozy blanket.

Jeno does get better the morning after.

  
III.

  
Renjun was never one to show and express anger, especially if it’s over small things, but by the way his firsts were curled and his mouth was shut, Jeno could tell.

“Jun, I’m sorry.”

Renjun rolls his eyes as he stares at the wall next to him, avoiding contact with Jeno in all forms. He knows Jeno only uses ‘Jun’ when he truly is sorry. He picks up his phone and types away angrily, distracting himself from his roommate. “I’ll make it up to you, I’ll buy you a new one—I’ll buy you a dozen!” Jeno pleads as he plops down on the bed next to him, trying to get a glance from Renjun.

“Stupid.” Renjun mutters in Mandarin, hoping that Jeno wouldn’t understand. “Oh come on, you know that I can understand you.” Jeno replies. Renjun has a habit that Jeno is fully aware of, he says things in Chinese if he’s too mad in the hopes of expressing himself without anyone understanding.

“I hate you.” Renjun says while scrolling through his photos, ignoring Jeno’s reply. “You love me though.” Jeno smiles putting his chin on Renjun’s arm, and earning a quick glance from Renjun. Renjun sighs and puts down his phone, “I wish I never taught you Chinese.” Renjun turns sideways and strokes Jeno’s hair.

“I love you.” Jeno replies in broken Mandarin as he looks for those exact words in Renjun’s eyes, but Renjun closes his eyes and decides to go back to sleep.

“Don’t eat my cake next time.”

 

IV.

 

It’s seven in the morning. The two had woken up next to each other (as usual) with cold feet and entangled blankets. Jeno opens his eyes and sees that Renjun is wrapped around his arm sleeping peacefully. His heart flutters and he smiles, Jeno knows that today officially marks their ninth month.

Renjun had woken up and stared at him so endearingly that Jeno’s heart was soaring through the roof. _He probably knows too._ Jeno stares back, his eyes observing Renjun’s fresh face from waking up. The way his cheeks flow from his cheekbones, his lips that are so perfectly formed with a sharp cupid’s bow, his cute button nose with spots that only Jeno could see this close, his dark circles that Jeno so badly wanted to kiss away—he loves it, he loves _all_ of it.

Jeno gulps, “You’re so beautiful, Renjun.” Jeno is still at a loss for words. It’s been years since he first saw Renjun across the practice room but he’s still taken aback every single time.

Renjun falters a bit at Jeno’s sudden words because he knew that Jeno was observing him. He glances at the wall clock and he chuckles. “I love you, Lee Jeno.” Renjun whispers and Jeno is about to cry because the way how things are intimate right now hurts him so much and he suddenly finds himself crying.

“Y-you love me?” Jeno asks through his tears, trying his best not to sound so broken. “You idiot, why are you crying?!” Renjun laughs while wiping away his tears and Jeno has never found it so ironic.

“It’s just... it’s the first time you’ve said those words and I-I just love you? So much?” Jeno coughs and now he’s sure he looks like an idiot with swollen eyes. “Of course, I love you. What do you think I’ve been doing these past nine months?” Renjun says as he kisses Jeno’s tears away. None of it seems to help since Jeno’s tears wouldn’t stop.

“You’ve been counting?” Jeno asks. Renjun smiles and nods. “Just as how you’ve been counting how many times I’ve said ‘I love you’.” His tears finally stopped. “You better keep counting from now on.” Renjun leans in and kisses Jeno.

Even with his morning breath, his annoying antics, his persistent ‘I love yous’—Renjun loves Jeno. He just can’t count how many things he loves about Jeno.

**Author's Note:**

> i could have written this better but... ye. im rly sorry


End file.
